For The First Time Ever
by snowwflight
Summary: "I—" Karma froze at the last few words. It was only for a split second, but in that tiny moment, his heart twisted and his breath caught in his throat. With what, he didn't know. It couldn't have been sadness. He'd become numb to it ages ago. /oneshot


Karma hated the Christmas season.

He hated how, during that time, every other song on the radio was some overly jolly Christmas tune that blared in his ears. He hated how with every corner he turned, he was met by annoyingly bright red-and-green Christmas decorations plastered over every building in sight. He hated how the mere fact that it was Christmas season meant that everyone was expected to just be happy and gleeful and"in the Christmas spirit." Whatever _that_ meant.

And he hated Christmas Eve, most of all.

Karma picked up the last few strands of his instant noodles with chopsticks, dropping them in his mouth. He swallowed, barely chewing. Then he drank the rest of the soup before crushing the cup and tossing it in the trash can.

It wasn't the grandest Christmas Eve dinner, he knew. Hell, it was barely a _dinner_ , but Karma had never been the best at cooking. Nor did he care. He had cooked some Christmas dinners in the past. But that was years ago, when he'd actually somewhat cared about making his house not completely depressing during the holidays.

But in the end, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. No matter how big of a feast he cooked or how good the food was or how much he cared about anything, nobody would be there to see it.

He'd be alone, just like how he was alone for most of year. Could he even call this building his home anymore? Weren't people supposed to feel welcomed and _happy_ in their homes?

Class 3E felt more like his home.

Karma drily chuckled. This was why he hated Christmas Eve. It made him overly sentimental. Sensitive, almost. The thought of everybody else in their real homes, with their families, laughing and celebrating, struck the hardest on this day. Struck the most bitterly.

"What the hell," Karma muttered, walking out of the kitchen. His footsteps echoed through his empty house as he passed by the dining room, the living room, the game room, the sun room, the front foyer, and finally, the stairs.

It was stupidly ironic. Laughably ironic. Such a large house for such a small number of people who actually lived in it. His usage of the word "people" was also laughable. Like there was more than one person who lived in his house.

It was every Christmas Eve when he actually considered contacting his parents. He wanted to tell them that all the time they spent overseas on business trips and all the money they made felt wasted. _Was_ wasted, actually. But for the past few years, the only time he contacted his parents were just to ask them to send him more money to sustain himself.

Karma walked up the stairs, making his way to the open door at the end of the long, spacious hallway. He entered his room, slamming the door close behind him.

His bedroom was almost as large as his classroom. There was a study desk with several bookshelves lined across the wall on one side. On the other was his bed, closet, a couch set, and a TV that hung on the wall. At the back wall was a pair of large glass doors that led to a balcony.

Karma had planned to continue studying for the upcoming exams after dinner. He really had nothing better to do, anyway. He certainly didn't have any kind of celebration or Christmas party going on.

He made his way to the balcony. Why? He had no idea. He opened the doors, slightly shivering as a cold breeze swept through him. His slippers crunched in snow as he walked to the end of his balcony.

He placed his arms on the bar, ignoring the sharp coldness that pierced them as they sunk into the blanket of snow that lay on it. He leaned forward. From the height of the balcony, he could see most of his neighbourhood. All the houses were glowing with the festive hues of red and green. All the houses had warm light from inside leaking through closed curtains. All the houses had several cars parked in its driveway. Probably the cars of guests, friends, and relatives.

Karma sighed, turning his gaze skywards. The sky was dark blue, the moon a silver crescent of light slicing through the endless cloth of darkness. He narrowed his eyes. He could make out some faint stars that dotted the sky.

Maybe if he tried hard enough, he'd also be able to make out Santa and his magical reindeers, soaring through the night sky to bring gifts and joy to children all across the world.

Karma almost laughed.

Yup. He _hated_ Christmas Eve.

He turned around to go back inside before a line of light flickered in the corner of his vision. He blinked. It was dim, but he could definitely discern a glowing streak that was shooting across the sky in the distance.

No matter how much he hated being pathetic and cliché like this, he wondered if it was a shooting star. Wondered if he could wish upon it. Almost _hoping_ he could. But if it was that easy for him to be happy like he wanted to be, he would've been in the stupid Christmas spirit a long time ago.

His gaze followed the glowing line in the sky. It was brighter now, shining fiercer, flying faster. And it was getting larger, almost like it was headed _towards_ him.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head. When he opened them, it appeared to be even closer, now a yellow-white blur in the sky.

 _Yellow?_

Karma felt a smirk breaking his face. "Stupid octopus." Quickly, before the apparent shooting star could reach him, he darted into his room, digging through his desk and pulling out a spare anti-sensei knife.

Tucking it in his sweater sleeve, he calmly walked back out. He rested his arms against the bar again, moments before a too-familiar octopus alien landed on the balcony behind him with a swirl of wind.

"Ah, Karma," Korosensei said. "Sorry for the sudden intrusion, but—"

Karma whirled around, whipping out the knife and slashing at his teacher's head. Like usual, Korosensei's figure just momentarily flickered out of sight as he dodged the blade.

"You'll have to do better than that." Korosensei's unmoving grin somehow turned smug as green stripes appeared on his face.

"It's always worth a try." Karma shrugged, spinning the knife in his hand. "Anyway, what are you doing here? Are you _trying_ to get killed?"

"It's the winter break and your teacher gets lonely very easily," Korosensei replied, dramatically pulling out a handkerchief and sobbing into it. "That's why I've been visiting all my students to celebrate Christmas Eve with them."

"I—" Karma froze at the last few words. It was only for a split second, but in that tiny moment, his heart twisted and his breath caught in his throat. With what, he didn't know. It couldn't have been sadness.

He'd become numb to it ages ago.

Thankfully, he was able to regain his usual confident demeanor before it completely slipped. "I don't know what you're expecting to find here, but I'm not the most festive person ever." He yawned, ambling back into his room. "Your choice. I might use you for some nice merry target practice though."

Korosensei followed him. "Are your parents home?"

"Nope." Karma inwardly growled. _Never._

"Not even on Christmas Eve?" Korosensei closed the balcony doors behind him, glancing around as he entered Karma's bedroom.

Karma swiftly threw his knife at Korosensei. It was halted midair, wedged between a pair of tentacles, the handkerchief separating the two from direct contact.

"Work's more important," Karma said simply.

Korosensei gingerly set down the knife on Karma's study desk. "Is that what you think, too? Or is it just what they think?"

Karma slightly grimaced, but he shook his shoulders in a halfhearted shrug. "It doesn't matter. They're not here either way." He opened a drawer and pulled out an anti-sensei gun. With quick, sure pulls of the trigger, he fired three BB pellets at Korosensei.

"Do they ever come home?" Korosensei asked, effortlessly dodging the bullets, his figure flashing in and out of sight.

"A few months a year," Karma replied, "sometimes." He continued firing at his teacher, but he felt his jaw clench with annoyance. Annoyance, and something else. Something that made him feel restless and apprehensive to an almost irrational degree.

Panic...?

Any person whose parents weren't home at a regular basis, even on holidays, would feel sad and lonely, for sure. Additionally, Korosensei had a habit of caring too much about his students. So if Korosensei began asking said person a large amount of questions regarding that topic while showing them compassion and giving them comfort, they would end up breaking down eventually. It made sense for the person to panic in that scenario.

But not for Karma Akabane. Karma Akabane was confident and unfaltering. Karma Akabane was independent, unreliant, and solitary. Karma Akabane had no interest in unnecessary sentiments. Karma Akabane was strong.

So why was he panicking?

 _Click click._

The gun's trigger made a feeble clicking noise as it ran out of pellets. Karma made a soft _tch,_ reaching over to grab the knife that lay on his desk.

"Do you talk to your parents?" Korosensei asked, beside Karma in an instant, gently grabbing his wrist before he could reach the knife.

"Sometimes. To ask for money." Karma gritted his teeth, his hand tightening into a fist. _Stop it._

"Karma." Korosensei's grip on Karma tightened. "I know that this is your personal issue, but I don't think living like this without telling anyone is good for your emotional wellbeing. Do your friends know about this?"

"Why does that matter?" Karma growled, trying to pull his wrist free. _Stop it. Stop it._ "It's fine like this. It's even better, actually. I can do whatever I want."

"You can't ignore your feelings. Don't fight them." Korosensei's hold remained firm. "You're hurting yourself."

"I'm not," Karma hissed. _Stop it. Stop it. Stop it._ He felt fury rising up inside of him as he ferociously jerked his arm back. Fury, and desperation. "Let go of me."

"Not until you talk to me."

" _Let go!"_ Karma shouted, violently lurching forward to grab the knife with his other hand. Twisting, he slashed in his teacher's direction, the blade forming furious arcs in the air. Once again, Korosensei dodged it with infuriating ease.

He stared at Karma. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine," Karma snarled, viciously thrusting the knife into his desk. The rubber blade bent upon contact, but then it harshly snapped after he continued pushing through the tension. "I don't need some stupid talk. I don't care about my parents. I don't care if they're away for most of the year. I don't care that they're not here right now."

Korosensei remained silent.

"I don't care that they think their work is more important than me. I don't care how they barely talk to me even when they _are_ home." Karma hurled his broken knife across the room. His voice was becoming raspy. "I don't care how everyone else is happy. I don't care how everyone else has someone to celebrate the holidays with. _I don't freaking care, okay?"_

Karma slammed his fist against the desk, and a hush ensued. For a few moments, the only thing breaking the silence as Karma glared at Korosensei was the sound of his breaths, which came out as ragged pants.

Then Korosensei slowly approached Karma, pulling out his handkerchief and holding it up.

"I'm not your girlfriend. I don't need that." Karma wiped at his tears with his sleeve.

Korosensei hesitated. "Karma—"

"I'm fine," Karma said. His voice was weak—shaky, almost. "I'm fine. Really."

Korosensei slowly nodded. "I know that it's not my place to tell you what to do." He carefully picked up the broken knife pieces with the handkerchief and placed them back on the desk along with the cloth. "But why didn't you tell your friends about this? Or tell me?"

"It's always been like this." Karma picked up the broken blade of the knife to idly fidget with it. "Why would it change just because I tell someone about it? Besides, everyone has better things to do than spend Christmas Eve with me."

"I don't have a family either," Korosensei said softly after a brief pause. "I was alone on Christmas Eve, too. That's why I chose to spend it with all my students."

Karma blinked.

"If you're alone, find someone to be with," Korosensei continued. "Even if you're not related by blood, anyone can be your family if you share memories with them."

Karma paused. "Next you're going to tell me that Class E's my family, right?"

"Is that wrong, though?" Korosensei blinked. "Even if you don't have your real family, you'll always have us."

Karma stared down at the broken blade in his hands. "No matter what?"

"Of course."

"Then catch this." Karma suddenly tossed the anti-sensei blade at Korosensei.

"Wha—" Korosensei instinctively lifted his tentacles to catch it, before his mouth dropped open with shock. With a shriek, he leapt backwards, narrowly dodging the blade. "K-K-Karma! Why would you do that to me? I almost died!"

Karma laughed. And for the first time ever on a Christmas Eve, it wasn't a laugh of bitterness.

Maybe he didn't hate the Christmas season so much after all.

* * *

.

.

.

 **Author's note:**

Thanks for reading! This is my first ever Assassination Classroom fanfic, so I think Karma got a _bit_ OOC near the end, but hopefully it wasn't too big of a deal. Any reviews/feedback would really mean a lot to me, and I hope you enjoyed reading this!


End file.
